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The Role of Mothers in Shaping Their Children’s Relationship with Food

March 05, 20256 min read

Mothers play a crucial role in shaping their children's relationship with food, particularly during their formative years. The habits, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding food that children develop in their early years often persist into adulthood (Savage, Fisher & Birch 2007). As primary caregivers, mothers influence not only what their children eat but also how they perceive food, their eating patterns, and their emotional connection to nourishment.

 

The Science Behind Imitation and Imprinting

From birth, a child’s brain is wired to absorb information from their parents (or primary caregiver) and copy or mimic a parent’s behaviors. This phenomenon is known as imprinting, an adaptive behavior that helps children quickly learn survival-related behaviors and function in society. Because mothers are often the primary caregivers, they have a profound impact on shaping their children’s thoughts and behaviors, including their relationship with food.

 

Setting the Foundation: Early Food Experiences

The introduction of diverse, predominately nutritious foods in early childhood lays the foundation for healthy eating habits and a healthy relationship with food. When parents are able to expose their child to a balanced and varied diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, but also not excluding of other foods, children become accustomed to a variety of flavours and textures. Repeated exposure to a variety of foods can increases the likelihood that children will develop a preference for them over time. Conversely, a diet predominate in processed foods in the early years of life, may lead to preference for these foods.

 

A cautionary note here, individuals with neurodiversity and sensory sensitivities may continue to struggle to uptake new foods, despite repeated exposures and this may require further evaluation and guidance by a medical professional.

 

How Beliefs About Food Are Passed Down

Our relationship with food is complex and shaped by the beliefs we hold about food and ourselves. As a child we internalise beliefs about ourselves and food from the comments and statements our primary caregivers model for us. For example, if a parent believes and communicates in front of their child that "carbohydrates are bad," a child may internalize this and feel guilt when they consume foods containing carbohydrates.

Similarly, if we grow up with the belief that we get "chocolate as a reward for doing hard things," we may grow up to develop a habit of craving chocolate after stressful events like meeting work deadlines.

 

Leading by Example

Children often model their eating behaviors after their parents. When parents demonstrate a positive attitude toward nutritious eating and mindful food choices, their children are more likely to adopt similar habits. In addition to this parents who model tuning in to their own hunger and fullness cues can help shape their own child’s awareness of these sensations. If parents show enjoyment in preparing and eating balanced meals, children may develop a healthier relationship with food.

On the other hand, if parents exhibit an unhealthy relationship with food through things like restrictive eating patterns, repetitive dieting, binge eating, or obsessive exercise behaviors these behaviours become normalised to a young child. As a child internalizes these attitudes and behaviours, they can then develop their own disordered eating patterns or unhealthy relationship with food.

 

The Role of Mothers in Body Image and Dieting Messages

An interesting study by Abramovitz and Birch (2000) found that five-year-old girls' ideas about dieting were strongly influenced by their mothers' dieting behaviors. The study revealed that a mother’s dieting history, weight concerns, and weight-loss attempts significantly impacted her child’s attitudes toward food and body image. Even at a such a young age, children absorb messages about dieting and were internalizing their mother's concerns about weight.

 

In addition to this studies have found that mothers' attitudes toward their own bodies and eating behaviors can influence their children's body image and eating habits. For instance, research by Handford, Rapee & Fardouly (2018) suggests that mothers who model negative body image beliefs may inadvertently contribute to similar concerns and changes to eating behaviours in their daughters. 

 

This underscores the responsibility that mothers especially have in role modelling a positive relationship with food and the development of healthy body image. Being mindful of the way they talk about food, their bodies, and dieting can have a lasting impact on their children’s well-being.

 

Creating a Positive Mealtime Environment

A supportive and stress-free mealtime environment is essential for fostering a healthy relationship with food. Establishing family meal routines, minimizing distractions like television or mobile devices, and encouraging open conversations about food can help children develop mindful eating practices. Encouraging children to listen to their hunger and fullness cues, rather than enforcing a "clean plate" rule, promotes intuitive eating and self-regulation.

 

Teaching Healthy Choices Without Guilt or Shame

Mothers can help their children develop a balanced approach to food by avoiding strict food rules or categorizing foods as "good" or "bad." Emphasizing instead the importance of nourishment, energy, and enjoyment to foster a healthier perspective on eating. Teaching children that all foods can fit into a healthy diet in moderation prevents the development of food-related guilt.

 

Encouraging Involvement in Meal Preparation

Involving children in meal planning and preparation can cultivate an appreciation for healthy eating. Allowing children to choose fruits and vegetables at the grocery store, participate in cooking simple meals, or assist in setting the table increases their engagement with food. This hands-on approach not only teaches valuable life skills but also makes children more likely to try and enjoy the meals they help prepare.

 

Addressing Emotional Eating

Food is often tied to emotions, and mothers can help their children develop healthy coping mechanisms beyond eating. Encouraging open conversations about emotions, teaching alternative stress-relief methods such as physical activity or creative hobbies, and modelling a balanced approach to food as nourishment rather than comfort can reduce the risk of emotional eating habits.

 

Conclusion

Mothers play an essential role in shaping their children’s relationship with food through the habits and attitudes they model. By fostering a positive, balanced, and mindful approach to eating, mothers can help their children build a lifelong healthy relationship with food. Creating a nurturing food environment, leading by example, and encouraging healthy food choices without guilt can empower children to make nutritious decisions that benefit their well-being for years to come.

 

If this is something you relate to or want more information on, follow us on Instagram or Facebook, or subscribe to our email list to stay updated with new content and offerings. In 2025, we will also be launching our online coaching program to equip mothers to become positive role models for their kids.

 

 

References: 

Handford CM, Rapee RM, Fardouly J. The influence of maternal modeling on body image concerns and eating disturbances in preadolescent girls. Behav Res Ther. 2018 Jan;100:17-23. doi: 10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001. Epub 2017 Nov 6. PMID: 29128584.

 

Abramovitz BA, Birch LL. Five-year-old girls' ideas about dieting are predicted by their mothers' dieting. J Am Diet Assoc. 2000 Oct;100(10):1157-63. doi: 10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4. PMID: 11043700; PMCID: PMC2530935.

 

Savage JS, Fisher JO, Birch LL. Parental influence on eating behavior: conception to adolescence. J Law Med Ethics. 2007 Spring;35(1):22-34. doi: 10.1111/j.1748-720X.2007.00111.x. PMID: 17341215; PMCID: PMC2531152.

Mother, Psychologist

Amanda Kenyon

Mother, Psychologist

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